One of my other interests is Organizational Psychology. Since I was a kid, watching people interact as groups has been a fascination. “Why do they do that?”
Most of the time, this practice is no more profound than drawing arbitrary lines in the stars above and calling it a Constellation. Perspective is relative - we see what we want to see.
But...
Why is it so common - so regular, so predictable, that I receive specific, direct “Thank you’s” from these guys, even when the act is insignificant?
Don’t misunderstand me - my deeds are not mighty. These guys are merely naturally, expressively grateful. To everyone. For the big, for the small, they’re continually acknowledging the positive work of others in their lives. I can confidently state that the men I interview have a well-wound spring of magnanimity in their souls. Why?
It could be a generational thing (I hope not) or it could be a reflection of intelligence, of a common temperament of fighter pilots...I don’t know. But I know that among my own, such courtesy and honor is noticeably less frequent. And when it does happen, it seems too casual and flip.
The other day, I watched one man thank another for helping at a meeting with a muttered, “Thanks” and no eye contact at all. My first thought was, “I wonder why Gary didn’t stand up, look Brad in the eye and say, “Thank you for putting in the time you did last week. You made it happen.”?
Expressions of courtesy and graciousness can’t be forced. To do that is, in my opinion, sin. Gratitude simply can’t ever be a burden. Yet, these things are learned, taught from grateful hearts. I should have been happy to see Brad being honored at all, even so off-hand.
Interestingly, my mental ‘correction’ of Brad’s thanks was spoken in the remarkable, baritone voice of a particular pilot who’s had a larger-than-typical influence on me....for which, I am especially grateful.